It’s been a long time since I sat down to really blog. And I mean blog in the sense of “here I am telling you how I feel”. Don’t ask me why, but for the past couple years it’s been hard. Part of it is this feeling of being scrutinized by people that I potentially work with or do business with. Somehow the idea of being professional online is huge and who wants your next boss reading about how you cried over the last stick of gum being gone from your purse? (Okay, I didn’t really do that, but it’s the first thing that popped into my head when I was thinking of ridiculous situations).
Plus, I’m horrible at emotions. I don’t often know why I feel a certain way and can go on blatantly unaware of how my feelings are effecting me. Of course, this all collides horribly with my sensitivity to emotional situations. I feel physically ill when tense or angry situations arise. A nice, happy place can have me mellow in minutes. It’s hard for me to express how I’m feeling without making someone else really upset, so I usually refrain from doing so (which usually makes for a worse situation in the long run).
So all of this, plus my busy schedule of late, has kept me from blogging and podcasting on fanTABZulous. Yet this week the emotions just seem way to close to the surface to deal with without putting fingers to keys. Not because I want to gossip about anything in particular, but just because the very act of saying I’ve got some crap to deal with makes it easier.
None of it is huge, well maybe losing my job was huge but more in the “dealing with money” area and even that isn’t as bad as it could be.
All of this to say.. yeah. Personal blogging should make a return. I’m not sure if it will, but it should.